If my beer budget will stretch for a bottle of wine I’m going to buy two. You can have it all, everything you want all the time, look at me; I do.
I rolled my dice the other day; if it was an odd number I was going out on the town, if it was an even I would stay in and do a crossword. I lost interest the second the dice left my hand and kicked in my television screen instead. It was the All-Bran advertisement with Julia Morris and I had seen that commercial earlier in the week so I didn’t feel the need to watch it again.
When I left the house this morning I carefully ran my key over the door of my neighbour’s car. Right down to the metal I gouged it, I then knocked on his door and told him someone had vandalised his car. He came out had a look and was really upset, I hugged him and said it was a bad neighbourhood, I felt bad for him because someone once did that to me.
When I grow up I’m going to be so many different things but not really do any of them. Nobody does anything much except tinker at the edges anyway. I think I will be a writer in a log cabin in the wilderness. When the winter comes I will go out into the freezing wind, naked sit down and catch hypothermia and die. Not until my first book is published though. All the proceeds from book sales will go to the `Lost Dogs Home’. The book will be about the dangers of hypothermia; my picture will be on the front cover.
