I feel like royalty in exile (thanks Rumblefish), from a South Eastern Asian country that you haven’t heard of and don’t understand our customs. You see …. I want to eat it all, drink it all and experience the kill as well if I can. What am I talking about? Well here we go. I have eaten all the stock standard animals and enjoyed them all, I have eaten many of the non standard but available animals but what I would really like to do is eat all the animals and wash them down with a fine wine and good conversation
The more exotic; the rarer (numbers not cooking); the closer to extinction, all the sweeter. I want to join the Eskimos and club a baby seal to death and feast on its fat reserves. I want to raise the hurdle on the last jump at the steeple chase just so I can barbeque the favourite. Hide in the bushes and steel an Aardvarks baby and roast it on a skewer. Throw a net over a chimpanzee as it searches for berry’s and eat its brains.
It’s not that I’m not an environmentalist, it’s just that unless I’m eating these animals I really can’t see the point in having them around. I mean come on what do they do for me? Ecosystem blah blah, I here you say. Well what happens when I eat the last Western Lowland Gorilla? Nothing! That’s what. I tell you all animals fall under the category of `nice to haves’. If they were that great we could farm them in a profitable way. That’s all I’m suggesting nothing more, nothing less, that all animals prove their worth purely on the basis of how much people are willing to pay to eat them and if this price is high enough to make it profitable then they will survive and prosper.
All this food chain stuff is garbage, all we need is some grains and fruits and what not, two hundred acres, a couple of horses to round them up and a flexible abattoir. Think of the stimulus to the economy, the new jobs, new companies and new options on the menu.
Science has quite frankly been dragging its heels. I feel discriminated against that past generations have had opportunities to eat things I’ll never have the chance to. Is it fair that some villager in Vietnam has had the chance to eat the last bird of species that westerners only just discovered and my money isn’t good enough to get me just a sautéed breast of one? The fucking Nazi environmentalists are taking over, the freedom is gone, we’re all robots and we live in a sissified state to scared to tell people what we think, too scared to smoke, scared to ride our pushbikes without helmets, scared to drink till we vomit. Well I say give me my Western Lowland Gorilla before I fucking snap!
The best meat is in the rump
